


Mirrors

by Spirk_and_Stucky_trash



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fear, Gen, One Shot, POV Bucky Barnes, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Shopping, Short One Shot, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 06:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16592984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spirk_and_Stucky_trash/pseuds/Spirk_and_Stucky_trash
Summary: Steve gets Bucky to shop for new clothes. It doesn't end well.





	Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> I've written it a long time ago.  
> Not sure what do I think about it - but I was quite proud, when I finished that small piece.  
> Enjoy :)

He avoided mirrors at all cost. He got enough reasons to hate himself on daily basis — he didn't need to look at his reflection for that. That's why going out shopping with Steve was always so hard. Blond wanted to buy him new clothes. _You're not gonna wear the same t-shirts every other day_ , he said.

  
Standing in the tiny dressing room was one of his largest fears. Feeling exposed, with nowhere to run, forced to look on his metal arm and bruises — things that remained him about Winter Soldier and all of those people he killed on Hydra's order.

  
He wasn't sure where this anger came from — it was just there, slowly burning him from inside. He wanted to sit on the floor while burst into tears, but in the same exact moments, he felt a need to destroyed something. Yet. He was still standing in the same spot, not making any moves. For Steve who got enough problems by himself - Bucky heard his every scream at night and felt how much his body was shaking while nightmares mastered his brain. He should focus on his own health with no need to worry about Bucky.  
So he smiled faintly, shaking his head with agreement when blond told him he looks good in a t-shirt he was trying on. He didn't believe in any of his words.

How did he look good, while every fucking person could see what has been done for him through all those years? For such a long time he tried to hide any traces of his battle, so no one would be scared of him. He never wanted people to be scared of who Bucky Barnes is and how for the sake of God, would he's gonna achieve that with showing them thing, even he hates himself for so much?

  
With an agreement to try another one piece of clothes Steve chooses for him, he hides behind a curtain, struggling to control his breath. Why is he acting like that? Why is he even here? He shouldn't come here in a first place. His breath becomes shorter with every second, his fingers painfully clenched in a fist and his spinning brain filled with guilt and shame.

  
_Remember to breathe_ , Natasha always repeats, _when you get to control your breath, you can start to care about other things._

  
So that's what he concentrates on — inhale, then exhale. Repeat. Everything is fine, he explains himself, there's nothing to be worried about.

  
He has no idea how long it takes, but finally, he's able to think clearly. Avoiding looking in the mirror or on his body, he jumps into his clothes. He doesn't wanna spend any more seconds in this place. No, he can't do this. So he scoops every single t-shirt crumbling around and leave the dressing room. He tells Steve he doesn't feel well, probably because of the pasta, they've eaten in the restaurant, asking him if they could do the shopping another day. There are no questions coming from the blonde, so they just leave the shop and go back home.

  
After that accident, every time Rogers want to go shopping, Bucky always seems to find them other, extremely important, things to do, promising they can do it another time or just order something on the internet. Steve stops questioning that after few weeks. Bucky thinks that's because he doesn't care. But the truth is, blonde know Barnes more than anybody thinks, and without any problems can see how his body automatically tightens while he's around mirrors.


End file.
